My favourite joke (in French - English translation in alt text)

If you follow me, you have a sense of humour. If you're reading this, you're a reader. I’ve put this story online, free, gratis and for nothing, it's a twelve minute read. If you like it, maybe you’ll be curious enough to risk 99p for one of my short story collections. Maybe you’ll be smart enough to save some money by buying a compilation. Maybe you’ll be brave enough to buy my novel. Whatever happens, I hope you enjoy ‘Vincent'. http://aarondavid.co.uk/Vincent.html #freeread #shortstory #funny #pleaseboost

Where is the gold pot?!
#rainbow #funny #nice #photography #nature

How many books do you know that seamlessly weave porn preferences and drystone walling without using the phrase 'hard as a rock' ONE TIME?

Exactly.

Buy it at the link below if you're in the UK...

https://uk.bookshop.org/a/15919/9781846976469

And if you're based elsewhere, at the link below this...

https://birlinn.co.uk/product/drystone/

She would often go to the Maritime Museum and sing with the fishes. #grickledoodle #cat #music #maritimes #museum #singing #fish #musicians #cartoon #art #drawing #funny

You're like
A wooden nickel
Who thinks
He's legal tender

Found a flying dog on the internet, which I want to share here. #dogsofmastodon #dogcontent #funny

Based on a true story

Can't find the lie in the first dad joke.
Democracy #dadjokes #docktok #funny #dadlife #jokes - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/z070So955bQ

If you follow me, you have a sense of humour. If you're reading this, you're a reader. I’ve put this story online, free, gratis and for nothing, it's a twelve minute read. If you like it, maybe you’ll be curious enough to risk 99p for one of my short story collections. Maybe you’ll be smart enough to save some money by buying a compilation. Maybe you’ll be brave enough to buy my novel. Whatever happens, I hope you enjoy ‘Vincent'. http://aarondavid.co.uk/Vincent.html #freeread #shortstory #funny #pleaseboost

NEWS: Don't go out during this sweltering heat wave!!

ME, WHO NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE: All my plans are ruined!

Rays of memories. #grickledoodle #vampire #nintendo #gaming #swtich #animalcrossing #cartoon #art #drawing #funny #horror

I will find you ...

https://anonsys.net/display/bf69967c-1968-7527-acd9-a4f115595349

Me: “Ok so I understand this house is dark because it doesn’t have Windows. But why is it feel so cold, soulless and unreasonable”

Real Estate Agent: “oh they didn’t use Mac they used Arch Linux.”

Me: “Oh I see now, they wrote that on the wall with blood”

https://www.usluck.com/589803/im-sorry-bro-2/ I’m sorry bro #Funny

Payless Putin

bot by @davidaugust
No laws were broken in the making of this bot: don't make me go to gulag.

I cannot stress this enough: never let me get access to genie wishes