The remaining humartians helped Eccentricity up. The bear shook his shoulders and sprayed red flecks before spitting on the ground.
Kiki raced through the brush, stumbled on roots, sharp briars tore her dermals as she followed the steady whump of 'chopper blades.
She stumbled into a clearing.
Already rising above the treetops was the helicopter.
At her feet was a vintage Casio calculator watch with a broken band.
Only a nerd like Jake had one.
She clenched it in her fist. 11/11
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"Are you not tired, bluebird?" Dima was out of ammo and threw the rifle at Kiki. "Do not fight me so hard. You may enjoy this."
700kg of fat and muscle wrapped in fur stormed on the scene with a roar.
Dima blinked. "#Retreat! Gospod'!" He couldn't run anymore. He couldn't scream.
Peasants with dark eyes stared him down. His stomach turned at the sight of their dark, open mouths.
Last thing he heard were the blue-haired girl's squeals as giant jaws closed on his skull. 10/x
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Sergey gasped as a round tore through his lung. The radio clattered to the ground. Tinny voices fought to be heard above the static.
Eccentricity powered forward, frame and ceramics denting and scarring from the assault.
Kiki, on the other hand, was everywhere, nickel and diming the giant Russian as she drew most of his fire.
Most.
A lucky shot blew out one of Eccentricity's cameras.
He stumbled to his knees. 9/x
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Fyodor and Alexei hustled when they witnessed the bedildo'ed robot. Dragged along the ground, Jake was knocked out after banging his head against one rock too many.
Dima pulled up his pants as the wind was knocked out of him.
Kiki snarled, "Safeties off, motherfucker."
Sergey spat into his radio, "Speshka! Speshka! We have hostiles!" He strained his ears for helicopter sounds.
Dima unshouldered his AK-103 and sprayed in panic. 8/x
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A streak of blue flew from the treeline. Kiki's foot planted square on Dima's chest.
Kiki flipped back and landed in a fighting stance.
The big Russian was non-plussed.
"Little girl. You are long way from home." He unbuckled his pants and stepped towards her. "Do you hear stories of how Dima pleases all ladies?"
Two trees snapped and fell aside as Eccentricity entered the scene. From his speaker "Happy Birthday" blared at top volume. His loincloth was gone but not what it hid. 7/x
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Rover, gyndroid, dog, and humartians heard the gunfire.
Kiki placed Tav upon pine needles, kissed his head, then sprinted into action.
Eccentricity followed suit, his long strides kept pace with her.
Humartians waited in silence. Some looked over their shoulders in anticipation. 6/x
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"Funny Solovyov. HQ wants Americanski alive." Out came his Makarov and pumped two rounds into the earth near Jake's head. "You do not understand me, da? I missed because orders." Another bullet kicked dirt on Jake's face. "You live. For now."
Warmth bloomed below Jake's waist. " Sergey barked orders at the goons. "Orlov! Ivanov! Bring him to helicopter." 5/x
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"Mikhail, what are you thinking we should do with Americanski?" Dima was a brute who pinned Jake with his boot.
Bo's voice started an 'I told you so' rant in Jake's head. Jake squeezed his good eye shut.
A short red haired man built like a fantasy dwarf studied his rifle as he replied, "Leave him to freeze. We are not wanting blood on our hands. Orders, yes?"
The two goons guarding the hut snorted. A skinny blond ran from the forest.
"Sergey, you return from pissing at long last?" 4/x
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Kiki shifted Tav to equalize the strain on her myomer and carbon fiber infrastructure. She stopped because something changed.
The wind?
The birds stopped chirping?
She listened again — Laggard insects still sang their small choruses.
Still she couldn't shake the feeling.
Tav began to growl.
Kiki craned her neck to look around Tav, and found Eccentricity stood stock still. Ahead was a clearing where sunshine glinted off the stainless steel quonset.
Deep laughter shook the leaves. 3/x
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Some humartians surrounded.thr brute.
No words were spoken.
To a baseline human they only exchanged nods and meaningful glances.
One knelt, spat upon their hand, and dared rub their hands under the bear's heavy lips.
Others followed suit.
The bear opened his dark eyes and sniffed the assembled beings then his muzzle went slack with realization.
Sentience shone upon once-shadowed corners of his mind.
The bear stood in the center of a ring of humartians and followed their lead. 2/x
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"But what about all these typewriters?" Randi spoke over the din of clacking and yowls.
Sam rubbed her hands together and giggled. "There are plenty of hipsters out there willing to pay top dollar for vintage typewriters that'll gather dust ironically as they blog about their writer's block at Queegqueg's." 5/4
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With eyes shut, Sam yanked the ms. from the now-vacant typewriter, "You wouldn't believe what some nerds and tech bros would pay for these freaky treatises." With the sheaf tucked in a folder under her arm, she opened her eyes, "Let's just say this is almost self-sustaining." She held up her finger, "Almost."
Randi shrugged, "Beats going into space for eleven minutes, Instagramming it, and making an ass of yourself for 'likes'."
"Totes, girl." Sam squeezed her friend's hand. "Totes." 4/4
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A dull whump echoed followed by a whiff of sulphur and ozone. Twelve purple tentacles appeared mid-air, caressed a tortie who leapt into them before both poofed away. "And the feeling is mutual."
Sam's smile lit the room. Randi went to see what the tortie typed. "Uh... no. I'd advise against that, hun."
"But why?"
"Trust me." Sam took Randi's hands and looked her in the eye. "There are sooo many homeless cats! They're finding their forever dimension, plane, realm, or wherever!" 3/x
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Randi's jaw dropped, "This is how you're spending your lottery winnings?" She gestured around the basement, "For this?"
"Grandpa's money too," Sam winked. "Left me a tidy sum and some real estate."
"But what about them?" A calico put her paws on Randi's side and gave a silent meow.
"There's the brilliance" Sam's eyes flashed with madness. "Demons, elder gods, servitors, whatever adore cats." 2/x
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